Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
