So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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