Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
