my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
