had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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