No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
