Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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