Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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