you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
