Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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