I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
