So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
