I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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