im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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