oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
