It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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