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I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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