hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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