420 ftw
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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