So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
