sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My ass is underappreciated
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
