The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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