CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
