Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I can't turn off my feet"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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