She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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