So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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