i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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