Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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