Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
