Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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