Taylor Swift is so right about you.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize