explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
