4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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