I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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