So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.