Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
These 23 People Are Living Shocking Lies
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The 17 Absolute Worst Divorces Imaginable
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.