he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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