I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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