I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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