your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My vagina is officially offended.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
