so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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