your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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