i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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