What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
