just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize
