You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I think people are normalizing furries
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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