yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I need moral support for this bender
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
