Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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