hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize