hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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