Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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