There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
meet me or not, i'm out of control
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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