so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You were trust falling into bushes
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
