i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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