I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
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They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
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Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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