Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
there was a trapeze. enough said
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
